Hate is easy Love takes courage
by EmoLover468
Summary: Yuki's always known that she doesn't love Kaname, but she was to blinded by admiration to realize it, after recovering all of her memories and becoming the vampire she really is she comes to the conclusion that it's always been Zero will he take her back?
1. Hallucinations

This is my first Vampire Knight fanfiction!

ME: I don't own any characters of the story or the story... :'( but the lovely Matsuri Hino does!

Matsuri Hino: Guess what?

Me:What?

Matsuri Hino: I'm giving you all rights to the story... YOU NOW OWN IT!

Me:REALLY?

Teacher: Ember! Wake up! You've really got to stop sleeping in class!

Me: Wait so I really don't own Vampire Knight?

Teacher: No... Whatever that is...

I sit silently crying in the corner... :'(

A Vampire Knight Fan fiction

I sat there on my bed, knife in hand. I stared at my wall blankly without so much as a word, I cut my forearm. Once, twice, three times. This is normal. Ever since Yuki left the academy with… _Kaname_. After I swore I'd kill her the next time I saw her. But how could I take her life? I don't even know how long it's been since I came out of my room, Headmaster Cross pretty much gave up on trying to get me out and go to class. She is all I can think about. Yuki. I can only think about how much I love her, and how much I hate myself for letting her slip away. I always thought I was doing that for her, saying that it's better she doesn't get too attached to me and then get her to put the gun to my head and make her pull the trigger. I was like her brother. Yuki hated using a gun just her practice. But to kill her… Brother? Friend? Her … No just friends that's all we were, all we can ever be. She left with Kaname, not with me. I don't want to kill her. It would be easier if I killed myself. But of course I've tried that. With the 'Bloody Rose'. I unlocked the safety ready to pull the trigger and then:

"Zero!" I groaned. I'm hallucinating again. But it sounded so real. It sounded like she was calling my name. "Zero I know you're in there let me in!"I cut my arm again, and got up to unlock the door. "Zero I missed you!" She was about to throw her arms around me and then saw the knife. "Zero, how… How could you! Why would you?" I turned around and sat back on my bed. I sliced my arm once more wincing at the pain. "Zero stop." My anger was rising. They all started this way. My hallucinations. They all ended the same way too; I finding out that it was all just a dream; so I did what I always do… I snapped

"Stop? Why should I? The first time I saw you I got my hopes up! Usually you don't care that I'm cutting myself. But I don't care, I'm going back to my life, if you could call it that" I spat at the figment of my imagination.

Another cut, another wince.

Next thing I know I hear a 'clank'. I realize that Yuki has taken the knife and threw it in the garbage can. She glares at me. She looks… human. Her hair is short and her skin has a kind of … glow to it. Could she be human? Hell I don't care if she is human or not, is she _**real?**_ No, she wasn't, the real Yuki is off somewhere acting like the princess she is with her brother, lover, thing. Whatever Kaname is to her, she wouldn't leave. She's got everything she ever wanted. I grew up, silently watching her. Like any good brother would do. I always knew that she loved him. At first I didn't like him because it was just… against nature, a vampire and a human. Now I could care less about _that_. It's just the fact that she chose _him._ Not me… him.

"Zero! Quit moving your arm! Keep it still and the pain can go away!" I wasn't ever aware that she was back, I wasn't even aware I was moving my arm, "There. All better!" She said proudly. I started at her, she touched me and I felt it! That's a first. I grabbed her hand and placed it on my cheek. I felt warmth, breathed in her aura. If this is a hallucination I might as well enjoy it right? Right or wrong I'm going for it. I push her to a wall, with enough force that even a vampire would wince at . My body started getting used to the blood tablets. Probably because I quit trying to force them down, if I needed to get sick then I would. Until I just quit getting sick. I stayed strong, I stayed sane – barely – as sane as someone without a life could be. I stared into her eyes. She stared back with equal force making my knees tremble. She is so beautiful. I kiss her. And to my surprise she kisses back. I deepen it and rub my tongue on her bottom lip. She breaks the kiss. "Do you still think this – I am a hallucination?" She asks, is she crazy? I've been dreaming of this, her for the past … year! Her coming back, her actually loving me. And one day it actually happens, I don't deserve it. If it were real life then I'm ready for someone to jump out and yell something like… I don't even know! But how could it be real? I love her too much for her to be mine. The only explanation would be that she is a hallucination. From my lack of words she knew what I thought. "If you don't think this is real then… I- I just can't do that- this. Come find me when your convinced." And with that she left… She didn't leave laughing but I saw tears forming in her milk chocolate eyes. Somewhere in my mind there was a little voice whispering 'you idiot… she was real and she came back! For you!' but there was an even bigger voice screaming 'YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! SHE IS FAKE AND DOESN'T LOVE YOU… SHE LOVES THE PUREBLOOD!' I don't deserve her… but there was this little feeling, gnawing at me, she was real… and I let her slip away… again.


	2. Missing?

A Vampire Knight Fan fiction

I walked out tears forming in my eyes. How could he think I wasn't real…? Is he mad at me? I knew coming back was a bad idea, but the thought of living without Zero one more day nearly killed me. I knew I loved him. Always, but for some reason with Kaname it just seemed that it had to be done. With Zero, everything was just… easy, natural, like breathing. He always knew how to make me laugh. And sometimes I could make him smile. Not very often but it still made me happy when he did. I wanted to run. But enough running I'd been doing that for the past year. The past three months I'd been running from Kaname. I no longer felt lust when I was with him. I don't even think I ever did. From what I remember whenever I was with him Zero would always find himself in my mind. Before running from Kaname, I was running to stay alive. Kaname and I had to leave, but the place where he intended us to go would suffice with him, so we had to find another place. We would always have to keeping a low profile, moving from one place to another, other vampires started to find us, and soon Level E's. We made it out alive, barley. Each time it was never Kaname who saved me, it was either I who saved him, or one of the aristocrats. Usually Ichijo or Kain comes to the rescue. Once had Aido saved me but that was only because Kaname was there. Aido seemed to hate me, like he wouldn't give a care for me if it wasn't for Kaname. I stopped loving Kaname when Zero started taking from me… Zero. I stopped walking-running actually- and leaned against the wall, I slid down and started sobbing. How could he do that to me? He had to have known that I loved him. Even if I didn't want him to, how I blush when he is around me, I stutter with words whenever I look into his amethyst eyes. Can't he see any of that? I wanted to turn back then, but I knew I couldn't. I decided to go to the Headmasters office. He still doesn't know that I'm here.

I barged in without even knocking. Headmaster looked up with a shocked look on his face. "Yuki! My Yuki! You came back? Why? Is Kaname-sama with you?" I didn't answer right away. I just looked into his eyes. They used to be so playful. Now they're serous. I don't like it; it's not the same man who took care of me. That man… grew up. It hurts to see him like this, it's just… wrong. Everyone is acting weird. Chairman, Kaname… Zero.

"What happened to Zero? Why is he cooped up in his room? He's cutting you know? How could you do this? How can he do this?" My voice broke and I started to cry again, I ran into my father's arms, my real father. I am Yuki Cross, the daughter of Kaien Cross. Chairman tensed at first in surprise then relaxed. I saw a smile grow on his face, soft but meaningful.

"My daughter, come. Let's get you something to eat. You must be starving, after words I'll tell you everything that's happened." He placed a hand on her back, gently leading her to the kitchen. "What would you like to eat, I haven't fixed anything in a while, and my skills might be a little rusty. How about some sushi? You love sushi." I did love sushi, and it was one of the only things that Chairman was actually _good _at making. I nodded and joined him.

After dinner the Chairman and I sat down in the waiting room. For what seemed like the longest time we simply stared at each other. Until he finally broke the silence.

"Yuki before I fill you in, please tell me. Why did you leave? Without Kaname?" Somehow I knew I wasn't going to be able to avoid the question. I didn't want to answer, I wasn't even sure I knew the answer. I didn't love him, I loved Zero, I missed home, and I missed the smell of Chairman's cooking in the morning, the warmth of my blankets at night, the light of the sun in the mornings. All of it.

"Kaname thinks he owns me. He doesn't deserve any compassion right now. That's all I am going to say about him. That's why I left." I sat up straighter pushing back the tears swelling in my eyes. It was going to take a lot more than sushi to get the reason I came back.

The Chairman filled me in on everything… he even noticed something about me… something different.

"Yuki! You – It can't be. Yuki you're not a vampire!"

Arisu Nakashima, a friend I met running away. She had the appearance on an old woman on the street. I was desperate; I needed someone to talk to. Even if I couldn't tell the whole story. I started talking to her. What she said to me was unlike anything I would have ever expected. _"Miss Yuki Kuran, It is by no means for me to give my opinion to a noble pureblood, but what is stopping you from going back? I don't see anything." _I didn't tell her my name, or that I was a noble, or a pureblood. _"You're a vampire? How? I would have sensed it." _I was so confused. I learned that she wasn't exactly a vampire or a human, she was a Majutsu-shi* or Majo* vampires can't sense them. But they can sense vampires. She took me in, and helped me she did something she said she hadn't done in 1,200 years. She turned a vampire into a human. But it didn't work 100% efficiently I'm not a vampire but not quite a human. I'm more of a Dhampir*. My powers are extreme I still drink blood but I'm human. I wasn't sure how to react I wanted to be angry that it didn't work but I was happy, I don't think I wanted to be a human exactly but not a vampire. In between works for me.

"No chairman I'm not, but that's a story for a different time. I'm going to go to my room. But before that, I have a question. Would it be too much trouble if I came back to school?" A smile spread across the Chairman's face.

"Of course not." And with that I left.

_I was running. I was tired. My legs hurt. But I couldn't get away fast enough. Branches hit me, I stepped on rocks with my bare feet, I knew that if I didn't get away fast enough I would just be dragged back. What that man- that monster did to me was unforgivable. What he said and how he acted towards me! I had put up with it too long I was thirty seconds away from just snapping his neck. I wanted to turn back and do it. To tear him limb for limb. I wanted to torture him for what he did. To show him that he doesn't own anybody. Not even me. All this time, what he wanted, he was a low-life selfish stupid back stabbing sloth greedy boastful bitc-_

"YUKI!" I bolted upright momentarily confused but I quickly regain all memories and look to see who is at my door.

"Who is it?" I ask groggily trying to get out of my bed and failing. I can't seem to get these damn sheets off!

"Let me in!" Says the person outside the door, I can tell who it is. I wonder why the Chairman is trying to rush me when it's 2 am.

I finally untangle the covers and get out of bed, only bumping into two objects of furniture. I open the door to see the Chairman pulling me out of my room and starts rushing me down the hall. "What's going on?" I ask

He stops suddenly "What did you say to Zero last night?" He asks. I don't answer. "Yuki, Zero's missing. I need to know what you said so I can try to find him."

My eyes widen. Missing? Did I cause him to run away? "I- I told him that when he realizes that I was real… That he knows where to find me. Missing? Are- are you sure? Did you check his hiding spots? The stables?"

"Yes Yuki, and White Lily is gone to. Hopefully he just went for a ride and will be back but that boy is unpredictable. He could be gone for 10 minutes or 10 months. We should wait until morning but I figured, knowing you, you would want to be told right away." Zero's gone and it's my fault… I can't go to sleep again…

"Father, would you want… something to eat? I won't be able to sleep with all of this anxiety in me." I try to force a smile but I can tell that he can see right through it but he nods anyway.

"I was hoping you would ask."

Ok so I thought I should add some father daughter moments just to make it kind of … sentimental…. I'll write more soon… please no flames… and ideas on what should happen are always welcome!


	3. Zero's Childhood Home

A Vampire Knight Fan fiction

Disclaimer: No... D':

Zero's POV

I decided to leave… I don't know where I'm going, not far I hope I took White Lily just because I needed someone to talk to. I'll come back home, just not now. For some reason Yuki coming back is bringing back memories that I don't want, I keep seeing Shizuka Hio in my mind. I keep seeing her sucking my family's bodies dry, seeing her with Maria, seeing her about to bite Yuki… about to turn Yuki into a vampire. I couldn't let that happen. But … I was too late. Not then but now. Yuki is a pureblood. All because of Kaname. I don't know how to compete. White Lily stopped, I've been here before. I know this place. Weather I wanted them or not, I could feel tears coming. This place is a place of my childhood. I got off of White Lily and started walking… I can't believe I still know how to get here! This place… I haven't been here in almost 6 years. March 11 is when it happened. March 11 is when my life came crashing down. I still can't believe it… what happened all those years ago. I still have nightmares. The screams of my parents still ring in my head. The slurping of their blood. My old house, it's burnt down. There isn't a house but there are ashes and pieces of wood. I wanted to scream in anger… in pain. Who let this happen? Why would someone do this? This wasn't a natural forest fire or whatever. I would have heard about it. I needed to leave, now. I got on White Lily and left. Riding as fast as I could. I hated this place. I needed to go to my sanctuary…

A/N: Ok I know that this sucks but the next one will be longer! I PROMISE! So I'll work on it and I'll post it next week! :D


	4. Secret Place

A Vampire Knight Fan fiction

Disclaimer: Against all my hopes and dreams... no :(

Okay so I'm REALLY sorry about posting a week late, it's currently 3:22 am, I stayed up all night writing this just for you all!

I tried to make it as long as I could... It's my longest ever! I'm so excited! It has 2,684 words.

Yuki's POV

Zero, Zero, Zero. Where the hell could he be? Why would he run away? I- I just don't know what to think anymore! He… I… I loved him… I love him. He is my everything. I came back hoping to get him to trust me again, and after that maybe get him to like me as a friend, then maybe even something more… If he doesn't feel like that I really don't care just so long as I have him in my life. I guess the saying goes 'If you love them, let them go'. If he doesn't love me then I'll just let him go. It'll be hard, no doubt about that but I can try. I just want – no I need him, I have to find him.

Where could he be? Chairman said that he already checked the stables, but better safe than sorry right?

I get up from the table almost unconsciously to go and look for him but I'm stopped by the Chairman.

"Yuki, where are you going? It's 5 am," He says. I take a deep breath. We've been sitting for three hours not even saying a word to each other. At one point I thought it was unbearable so I just forced myself to forget he was even there. So I forgot he was even there.

"I'm going to go looking," I saw in his eyes the urge to come with me, but quickly I added "alone… Sorry but I think I just need time to - to – just think I guess." He nodded hesitantly but looked back down to the table.

I went outside and looked at the sky it was still a dusky grey. But the sun was soon coming. I start running to the stables…

"DAMN THIS! DAMN YOU! DAMN EVERYONE! Damn Zero…" I fall to my knees crying. I had searched the stables, his room, the woods, even the moon dorms! I can't find him. What if he is gone for good? What if he is so disgusted at me he doesn't even want to look at me? I get up shaking away the tears. I start walking and find myself right in front of the boy's dormitories. I walk in, being extra quiet and go to his room. I just need to remember things… I know I just saw him nearly 12 hours ago but it had ended abruptly. I slow down just thinking about what happened, about how he was 'passing his time'.

Finally I reached his door; I look at the rip in the carpet and reach under it for the key. That boy has the logic of the smartest man alive. Hiding something in plain sight… I've always admired that about him. I walk in the room and take everything in… not like there's much to take in anyways. He has a bed, a door to his own bathroom (lucky!), a closet, and a window. I walk over to his bed, sit down and grab a pillow. While hugging it I take in its scent, I almost expect it to smell like blood, but it doesn't. It smells like… Zero. It has a musky, metal… spicy scent? Spicy? I guess it's understandable… He loves spicy food…

"_Zero quit eating… You're going to get sick!"_

"_No I won't. Look Yuki I'll be fine, quit worrying about me,"_

"_Fine but when you wake up and start puking in the middle of the night, don't come crying to me,"_

_Later that night I decided that I must have been physic. Zero got sick, and came crying to me because of it. Well not exactly, he got sick and was moaning and groaning. Back then we were staying in our old rooms, because of winter break. So naturally because their rooms were right next to each other, she heard it and came barging in._

"_Zero what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing__ moans __I'm fine, go back to bed."_

"_Well you sure don't sound like it… It's the food wasn't it? Zero I told you that you ate too much! Come with me."_

"_Where are you taking me?"_

"_To the bathroom, I think we have some medicine in there."_

I spent the whole night with him and the next, just to make sure he felt better. I hated seeing him in so much pain. Even if he was good at hiding it to the rest of the world, I always knew if something was wrong. Even if he refused to tell me I would always try to help make it better.

Eventually I left Zero's room and set out wondering. There was this place Chairman used to take me to, nobody knows about it. Not even Kaname. Right before I went to bed when I was patrolling I would go there, just for a few minutes. To remind me that even if my best friend hate Kaname's guts, if I'm continently fighting to keep peace between humans and vampires without anyone to talk to, even if I'm stressing out about a math test coming up that everything is going to be okay.

I find myself excited to be going there. There was a pond and soft grass and a small meadow of flowers right next to it… Come to think of it, I haven't been there in almost two years. My second year of high school. I miss this place; I miss thinking about what I thought about. I miss relaxing here.

I kept walking until I reached the pond, I could go swimming if I wanted to, the water was never very cold but right now I need to relax. So I lay down and started to close my eyes.

Then I saw it. In the pond, it was a spot of silver! Could it just be a fish? Possibly. Did I want it to be? Of course not, I wanted to talk to him but first I had to make sure that it _was _him. I quickly stripped down to her undergarments and slowly got in and dove under.

Almost as soon as I got in I felt calloused hands on my waist pulling me up. Once I was up I kept my eyes closed and took a deep breath. I don't think I'm ready to see him, I have so many things to tell him, some like I've missed him and I love him. Some not that pleasant, things I regret. Things that shouldn't have happened, things I'm ashamed of. I have to tell him sooner or later I guess. I open my eyes to meet a familiar pair of red ones. Ones that I've had nightmares about. Accusing eyes. Kaname's eyes. I scream, out of terror, and shock whatever.

I jolt upright from the grass. It was just a dream. An extremely real dream. I feel tears rolling down my eyes. I never, _ever_ want to see those eyes again; I don't ever want to see him again. I take a deep breath and lay back down closing my eyes once again.

"Yuki Cross sleeping on the job? Well in all my years I never would have guessed it," I heard a soft voice say followed by an even softer laugh. I squeeze my eyes tighter, knowing it isn't him but I just feel like he is haunting me. "Yuki. About earlier… I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have… acted the way I did but, just look at it through my eyes I've loved you sin-" I got up and walked over to him and kissed him. As softly and passionately as I could. I had so much love for him I couldn't let it all show at once. It was unbearable. I gripped his hair right at the roots, normally I probably would have been worried if I was hurting him but right now I'm too preoccupied to care. I opened my eyes to gauge his reaction, his were closed. I felt his lips moving on mine. Both good signs. I want him… I want him so much that it actually hurts. I want to get closer than physically possible. And I think he feels the same way, if I judge by the way he's kissing me.

And then everything snaps into place. He is kissing me; he was just apologizing to me. If I remember correctly he said the word love. . . He loves me. He _loves _me. Zero Kiryu loves _me_. I stop kissing him. After a moment he realizes it.

"What's wrong? Did I do something…?"

"No! God no!" I suddenly feel extremely embarrassed; I feel my face getting redder by the minute. "Zero what you were just saying, did you mean it? I mean, do you l-love m-me?" It was harder to ask than I thought it would be. They weren't exactly everyday questions.

I looked up at Zero's face and I saw a smile. It almost looked like a smirk, but it was the smirk he always gave me. If I looked close enough it was actually a true genuine smile. Not his best, no I've seen the real smile but this is just a beautiful. "Yuki, when will you learn? The kiss, right before you left; because I was afraid I'd never kiss you again. The misunderstanding yesterday; because I love you too much I'm afraid I'd die if your just out of my reach. Yuki I love you more than anything in this world. I love you more than everything in this world combined. I have si-" I kissed him one more time. Wrapping my arms around his neck he moaned against my lips.

"Zero," I said with difficulty "You should know something." He froze. I laughed pulling back a little. "Zero I _just _wanted you to know that I love you too. Now and forever, okay?" He nodded and pulled me back into the kiss. Slowly we sat down on the cool grass. Each of us took turns deepening the kiss. Soon our tongues were in a battle of dominance with him – of course- winning. But all was soon forgotten when we lay down on the grass. My arms sneaked around from his neck to his cheek, his cheek to his chest, his chest all the way down to his stomach. I grasped his shirt and started tugging on it to show what I wanted. He got the message and helped me get the shirt off of him. The separation of our lips momentarily depressed me but soon our lips crashed together most likely bruising them. His hand played with the trim of my shirt also; quickly I tore the shirt off of my body only to continue with the heated kiss.

By now there was constantly moaning from the both of us. Both of our hands slid down, his calloused hands played with my skirt while mine started undoing his belt. He parted our lips to kiss lower, first on my neck gently biting, then lower to my shoulder, then down to the valley of my breasts, but my bra got in the way. When I felt his hands go to my back to undo it, I snapped back into reality. It was now the battle between my body over my brain, my body kept screaming at me to keep going, and not to stop. But I know that this is wrong, it's right, but just not now. Right now isn't the time for making love. I know I had to sum this battle up quick because Zero had already undone my bra and is now kissing my breasts, I feels good, no it feels _great _, like nothing I've ever felt before. I almost loose myself in it but I stop myself.

"Zerooooo Oh, Zero that feels amaz- no Zero * moans * we should really t- ta- talk about th-th-this. Zero," He came back up to my neck and started nibbling. "Zero you're not helping!" I whined.

He came up higher to my ear and whispered "Do you really want me to stop? Because I don't really want to," his lips tickled my ears. I don't remember what he asked. What did I ask? All I know is that we are here, now. The only thing that can stop us is-

US! That's right! I had to stop this… NOW! "Yes, as much as I don't want to Zero, we really should stop. Not here, not now. We need to talk." I said trying my hardest not to back down.

Zero sighed. I knew that as much as he hated to admit it, I was right. "Okay, talking… but we don't have to go back now do we?"

"We really should, the Chairman and I were up all night worrying about you, why did you leave in the first place? Where did you go? How come you took White Lily?" The questions just kept spilling out, I couldn't stop them.

Zero softly laughed. "Yuki, before I answer questions, I'll never concentrate if you wearing _that._" I looked down and realized that I only had a skirt on, kind of. Apparently when he was playing with my skirt he was pulling it down… Little by little. So I had no bra, no shirt, and a skirt what went to the middle of my ass. Great. But he doesn't have to much room to talk, he had this amazing sexy body that is just… there! He isn't putting on a shirt. How am I supposed to concentrate?

Speaking of shirts… where is mine? I had managed to find my bra and fix my skirt but my shirt is nowhere to be found… except the pond. Soaking.

"Hey, Zero. Where is your shirt?"

"Right here, why?" I grabbed the shirt and pulled it on. "Yuki where is your shirt?" I pointed to the pond and he gave me a look that said 'enough said'. I giggled.

"So… the questions…? I have a ton you know," I glanced up at him hoping he understands that they're not just about what just happened. About the past year. About what he did and why he did it. I think he did get it, because he started shifting uncomfortably around.

"Okay, uh shoot,"

All day we sat there talking about what happened the past year, I felt like I was the one talking most of the time. But he seemed to know what was going on around school, even when he wasn't going and when he didn't even look out of his window. I asked him if he was going to start school back up again and he still hasn't given me a straight yes or no answer. I don't want to push him but I really would like to know…

When it started getting dark we decided that it was time to head back. I hadn't even realized how long we spent together. By the time we got back we had avoided the Chairman completely, we figured we'd deal with him tomorrow. But by the time we got to my room I did something that shocked the both of us.

Zero turned around to leave, "Zero," I whispered. He didn't seem to hear me so I said his name even louder, careful not to wake the Chairman. Zero turned around, "Will you, will you stay with me tonight?" I smiled softly at him. He nodded and took a step closer and kissed me lightly. We both knew that tonight wasn't the night. But it was the night to just lie together. All night… Maybe even most nights. I closed my eyes at the thought and took a deep breath.

We lay down in bed and closed our eyes. "I love you, Zero"

"I love you, Yuki" and we drifted off to sleep.

A/N: So... How was it? Good I hope. Okay so I've decided that if I get at lease 10 reviews by next Saturday then I'll post... For now i'll cut you all some slack, if you guys really like it and really want me to write another chapter ASAP then I'll let you guys post AT MOST2 comments, but if more than 3 people do that the I'm going to raise the number of comments to 15. I hope i'm not being to harsh... :/ but I really do want some encouragement! So I'd also like ideas and I'm hoping to adding a lemon scene in the next few chapters, I suck a lemon... I know this is a LOT to ask but if someone wants to maybe write one for me... You don't have to but if you want to help me out then maybe you'd do it...? I'd give you all credit for the scene and everything. Okay so I love you all for reading this! I'll love you even more if you help me! :)

p.s: No flames, but constructive criticism is encouraged!


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